There is more that keeps you tied to this log than two simple hands. There is a mountain of hope, an ocean of fate, and a world of it-doesn’t-matter-anyways.
..nature follows
..well, a little like this.
Every day is a new learning experience, a new challenge, and I don’t always get it right the first time. As the only one in this company, I have a great deal of decision-making power but yet barely any control. I am literally affected by every one outside of me. They are my boss. They can make or break my day’s work.
It’s incredibly exhausting, trying to hold it all together, but for me there is no choice.
This is what I do. This is who I am. Patternmaking, designing, sewing, fabrics, measurements.. these things are my life. And if it’s in flux, then so be it.
This is where I was meant to be.. wherever “this” may be.
Keep your eyes open. Look up. Look around. Look how that bridge is constructed. The height of that tree. How many colors can you find in its leaves? How much movement in its shadow? Have you ever looked at the ground and the way it slopes? Or the colors of those two buildings side by side and how they look against the sky?
The most extraordinary feeling occurs when you realize that the things around you are not just there by chance. That someone at some point decided it to be that way. That exact iron gate. That exact tree. That precise color of blue to match that precise color of green. A square here. A frame there. Each number in that font, placed just so.
Intention. Precision. Execution.
It’s not something to take for granted.
You’re always on a path. You’re headed somewhere. Step by step. One foot in front of the other. You don’t have to know where you’re going, to be, well, going.
Sometimes we wander. We lose our footing, move in circles, and feel like we never really get anywhere. But then there are those moments when you finally feel like you’re “there”. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be at exactly the right time. If you squint you can sorta make out a path in the distance. It’s strangely familiar. Comfortable even. You find yourself walking a little faster, your steps become a bit lighter. And slowly you start to realize that it’s not just that you’ve finally found the right path..
It’s that you’ve been on it all along.
“There is pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society where none intrudes,
By the deep sea and the music in its roar;
I love not man the less, but Nature more.”
: Lord Byron
Quoted from LinedandUnlined:
“At Yucca Mountain, where nuclear waste will remain stored for over 1,000,000 years, the issue is how to create a warning durable enough to last for that long. The answer is in diversification: “We have looked very closely at what WIPP is doing—the Waste Isolation Pilot Plant in New Mexico. They did a study with futurists and other people-sociologists and language specialists. They decided to come up with markers in seven languages, basically like a Rosetta Stone, with the idea that there will always be someone in the world who studies ancient languages, even 10,000 years from now, someone who will be able to resurrect what the meanings of these stelae are. They will basically say, ‘This is not a place of honor, don’t dig here, this is not good material,’ etc.” New problems, classic solutions (via Kottke).”
The enormity. The approach. The realization that this world is not permanent and neither are the constructs we’ve bound ourselves into. Breaking down our most basic tool, language, into a formula, a relationship, a set of characters to decode. Imagining that future generations will find our lifetimes mysterious. That our present might be a key part of their past. Understanding that there is no right way, no finality to language. The everchanging face of Earth’s population.. and the effort to communicate with that hypothetical. It’s wondrous indeed.
.. but here it is and here I am. I never knew it existed. I could never believe it could really be like this. This easy. This clear. I never knew it was possible.
But here fate has stepped in.. made itself inexplicably known. Gave my life a detour. Gave me another chance. Showed me the power of “the right moment”, “the right person”, and “the right way”.
I wouldn’t have believed it if it didn’t happen to me personally. In fact, I am still surprised every day. That’s why I don’t expect anyone to understand. It’s just one of those things.. inexplicable but absolutely unforgettable.
What can I say it that is simpler, than “Now is all there is.”
..why they call it “falling”
i feel like im sliding.. without control.. without a moment to pause. resisting the urge to clutch to solid ground in hopes of safe landing.
struggling to catch my breath.
I wonder if I’ll feel this way forever.
I wonder if it’s a choice.
